Turn Conventional into Organic?

"Agribusiness stocks rose sharply today, following the announcement this morning of a new process that transforms conventionally raised produce into organic, instantly and at almost no cost.

News of the discovery reached the Washington Post just after midnight, in a press release from a little-known group called Favoring the Right of Americans to a Wholesome Diet. The organization’s letterhead describes it as “A Spontaneous, Grassroots Coalition of Real Americans, Just Like You and Your Neighbors, with No Links to Food Industry Giants Such as Monsanto, Kraft, or Smithfield.”

President Bush reacted swiftly, issuing an executive order mandating application of the process to all of the country’s produce. Explaining his quick response, he said, “Being a no-brainer, I didn’t see the point of tying up the Congress in another divisive debate. Not that this would have been divisive.” There is some uncertainty as to what “no-brainer” referred to; reporters are awaiting clarification from the White House."

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